G L A S S

You are not a problem
I repeat
You are not a problem

They’ll tell you, “sweetheart I can fix you”
But you will shake your head and say,
“I am not a problem”

They’ll look at  you with pitiful eyes
and say, “Don’t worry, I can save you”
You will say,
“I am not a problem”

They’ll shake their heads
They’ll dare to put their palms on your face
They’ll whisper, “I won’t let you fall apart this time”
You will gently push their hand away and say,
“I am not a problem”

They’ll look at you and smile
They’ll have kind eyes
They’ll skip along beside you
They’ll say “You know you’re only human, you’ll be okay”
You’ll feel relieved that someone finally understands
That you are merely a human being, not a fucking problem
You will thank them for believing in you

You are not a problem
I repeat
You are not a problem

While I’m in Despair, You Don’t Even Stop By to Say Hello

Feet tapping
Mouths sighing
Earphones blaring
Clocks ticking
I’m breathing
Where are you?

The world keeps spinning
The teachers keeps talking
People keep working
The buses keep going
I’m still breathing
But where are you?

I cut my wrists to punish myself
I throw up to fade away
I call for help
I’m still breathing
Where the hell are you?

I accept you aren’t there
I sigh
I lie on my bed and cry
The night goes on
I’m still fucking breathing
You were gone a long time ago, weren’t you?

Get Some Bandages For the Future Wounds

You are going to mess up. You are going to fall. But that’s okay.
You hear that?
That’s okay

No, I mean it.
It’s fine.
You’ll accept the scraped knees
You’ll accept the bruised fingers
You’ll accept the scars you’ll get from getting your  wings ripped off

Because guess what?
You’ll heal.
Like always
You’ll fucking heal.

You’ll get up. You’ll pick up your sword.
You’ll breathe in and out.
You’ll scream and shout
You’ll close your eyes and make another run for it.

You’ll fall again.
You’ll be at rock bottom.
But you’ll keep fucking fighting.
That’s what we do
We keep fighting
We keep healing
We keep fighting
And so on

You will be alright, I promise. 

You Will Want Her Back, But She Has Already Left For the Train Faraway From You

Hey,
I just wanted to ask you a few questions.
First off, how are you?

How do you live with yourself after you left her in despair?
After you broke off her wings?

Are you alright?

Why’d you let her spend nights crying and hating herself?
Letting herself bleed from the wounds you gave her.

 

Have you been okay?

How are you okay with her being so sad?
How did you rip her wings in pieces and leave it on the ground for her to find?

Do you feel nostalgic some days?

Why did you blind her? Why did you make her think you were better than her?
You made her think she was black and white
When she was actually an array of colors 

How’s life?

You know she won’t trust anyone else for a long time, right?
She thought you were her saviour, you cunt.

Are you happy?

How are you so fucking shallow and selfish?

Where have you been staying?

You fucking broke her, did you know that?
She still hasn’t found the right tape
to fix herself up again.

I just wanted to say one more thing;
She’s alright. She moved on. She barely talks about you.
Why do you look so disappointed?
Did you expect her to beg?
Nah, she’s gone.

She’ll learn that she was her own hero this whole time
That you were just a villain in her fairytale

K E Y W O R D

I fell in love with the voice in my head
I know you can’t fall in love with imaginary friends
But she was my universe.

Keyword: was

She was the only one that accepted me with vomit in my hair
That held my hand when I cut across my skin with a scissor blade
The one that lay beside me every morning while I hid in my blankets
That silenced me when I screamed for help

Keyword: help

I was drowning
where were you?
You were busy like everyone else
But she was there at the shore as I reached out from the deep cold waters
She watched me sputter and desperately have my hand out
She put her hand out for me
She wasn’t busy

Keyword: busy

I fell in love with the voice in my head
She seems horrible, I know
But she’s there
When it gets dark, she’s there
That’s all I wanted, to be honest
To be first priority

Keyword: there

Now I have to let her go
But how do I know if any of these people
Will be good lovers?
How do I know I won’t be alone?
What if she is my true love?

Keyword: is 

B I T T E R S W E E T

I rushed to answer my phone because I thought it was him

But it wasn’t

It was you.

I grit my teeth and looked around
Why?

I was finally leaving you in my head

And right then I was willing to drop everything and bring you back.

But I declined your gracious offer

I regretted it as well

Unrequited love is bittersweet
But I have a sweet tooth
And I can’t tolerate the taste of bitterness anymore

It’s time to let go
Bye, my love

A part of me will always be in love with you

F U C K I N G F A D E D

F      A      D      E      D 

Please

Please

Please

I don’t know how to keep my feet on the ground
I don’t know how to live with myself

I think I was daydreaming

How did I think I was okay?

It’s dark 
I can’t see
I don’t know where to go
Please hold my hand

Tell me I’ll be okay 

The thing is I was already gone

Take me back to when I wasn’t caged by my demons

Please

Please

Please 

I’m in a nightmare and I can’t seem to wake up
Wake me up
Don’t let me go
Why do I feel so alone?
Why can’t I be enough

Don’t give up on me

Leave me for the dead if you’re giving up on me 

I’m no longer real

I’m imaginary

F     A     D     E     D