Taking My Leave

I’ve been trampled on, stepped on and kicked by.
I’ve been yelled at, blamed for and dissed by.
I’ve been ignored accidentally and purposely.
I’ve been walked away from, closed the door on, and rejected by.
I used to try very hard to be the person people expected me to be.
A best friend that never complained.
A daughter that did what she was told.
A teenager wanting to have fun.
A girl who was supposed to be “lady-like”
A student that got all 90’s.
and a person who hated herself for everything she couldn’t do.
These were expectations I could never exceed.
It’s funny how you write about me only when you’re angry at me, but when it comes to other people in your life you write about them as if they’re on a pedestal.
One thing I realized was that no matter what I do, some people will hate it and some people won’t.
I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry. I regret it, I really really do.
But I won’t change myself so you will like me. I won’t change myself so you could forgive me.
I’m so tired of chasing after people in my life. I’m so tired of being afraid to say what’s on my mind. I’m so tired of keeping the door open just in case someone wants to come back. The door is closed, and I’m taking my leave.

Aren’t We All Screwed Up?

A boy recently told me, “It’s okay to do things for yourself sometimes, it only makes us human. You got to realize, you only live for yourself.”
I think that’s one of the best piece of advice I had gotten.
I always felt guilty when I did things that was done for my own benefit, but I guess we all have to realize we do only live for ourselves. At the end of the day, the only person that can be satisfied with you is you. The only person that will understand how you feel exactly is you. The only person that chooses who to be with because they make you happy, is you. The only person that has your problems, is you. I’m not saying only trust yourself, but what I’m saying is you may die for someone else but you shouldn’t live for someone else. Be around people that love you for who you are not what you act like. Love freely, laugh more and live for yourself. You’re only human and its okay to be selfish sometimes.

It’s After 2 am And I’m Sitting in a Lonely Diner

He always stayed silent. He stayed silent when his grandma yelled at his mom for accepting a gay son, because it ruined the reputation of the elite family. He stayed silent when the kids at school picked on him. He stayed silent when he got bullied in front of a bunch of people in school by the same very guy that kissed him privately in his room the night before. He just dealt with it. What he didn’t know was that he was worth more than all that. He was amazingly brilliant. No one ever praised him for his math skills or his knowledge of world history. They just defined him as a homosexual guy. His flaw and skill was being gay. That’s what it seemed like to the people around him.
“It’s 2 am in the morning and you’re still here”.
He abruptly looked up and looked at the diner’s waiter. The waiter placed another cup of coffee and a plate of pie in front of him. He realized he was still at the diner fifteen minutes away from his boarding school. He was sent here to learn discipline as if discipline would make him straight and proper. It was the weekend and students got to go home, but Aaron decided to take a detour instead and stopped at the diner to eat food before he went on a random drive. The waiter looked amused. He served Aaron since he came in, and noticed he was deep in thought for the past two hours. The customer is lucky this is 24 hour diner, he thought.
“O-oh sorry I didn’t mean to, I’ll leave right no-“
The waiter sat opposite from him in the booth and rested his head on his hand.
“You don’t need to. I like the company. It gets pretty lonely after 2 am. Some drunks come and go but other than that I’d like you for company.” The waiter told him. He leaned in his seat and got comfortable.
“Thanks” Aaron said. He looked at the waiter and noticed he had brown eyes and dirty blonde hair. It was wavy and toppled to the side. It was the opposite from Aaron’s short jet black hair and green eyes. The waiter was tan from the summer sun in California while Aaron was pale because he stayed inside.
“So what made you come here on a Friday night? You go to that snobby elite school don’t you? Don’t you guys like go to your yachts during the weekend and party or something?” The waiter asked.
“I’d rather be drinking coffee at some random diner then party with people I don’t like and they don’t like me” Aaron stated.
“Dude, come on everyone’s up for a drink” The waiter continued.
“if that’s so, then why are you working right now?” Aaron interjected.
The waiter grinned, he didn’t expect Aaron to try beating him at his own game.
“Well my old man owns this diner, or well used to-“
“Used to?”
The waiter looked defeated and pointed up and Aaron realized the waiter’s dad died.
“I’m so sorry” Aaron whispered since he understood how it felt to lose a parent. It was only two years ago he had lost his mom. He was 15 then and felt lost without her.
“You look like you know how I feel” The waiter observed, before leaning in his seat and crossing his arms.
Aaron nodded and told the waiter about his mom. He had loved her a lot, she was the only one who accepted him with open arms when he came out of the closet. She loved him no matter what. He was really close to her. It was difficult since his dad was always working since he owned Aaron’s grandmother’s company, so when she died his father and his grandmother decided to send him here. It was weird talking about it. It was past 2 am and Aaron felt like talking about everything and anything. For now, he trusted the waiter. The waiter listened and smiled slightly at the happy parts and kept a straight face during the sad ones.
“Well your life is screwed up. Don’t worry mine is too. My mom left my older brother and I when I was 5 and my brother was 7. After that it was just us and our dad. He owned the diner and it turned out he put it under our name so when he died…It became ours. Of course he died two years ago, so my brother legally owns the place since he was 18 and I was 16. Now, I do too I guess. Our chefs are the same and the waitresses. They’re all dad’s friends and they help as much as they can. See my dad was the life of all of us. After he died he took all the excitement away for a while. I don’t know the excitement’s coming back now, we laugh more but it won’t be the same. So that’s why I’m working instead of partying.” The waiter explained, he had a distant look and started eating the pie he set out for Aaron. Aaron nodded. He was surprised, that the waiter told him all that. He also forgave him silently for eating the pie. He was really wanting to eat the pie.
“So yeah..anyways whats your fault? why’d they send you to that place after your mom died?” the waiter asked.
Aaron shrugged and felt embarrassed. He really liked the waiter but he knew things would change once he told him the reason. But it was better than lying.
“Cause I’m gay”
The waiter stopped eating the pie and looked at him. He started laughing. Aaron looked at him dumbfoundedly.
“That’s why?!” The waiter laughingly asked and Aaron timidly nodded.
“Oh shit. That’s too good. Your family is a prude. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Well I may be biased cause I’m gay myself but wow your grandmother sure sounds like an angel” The waiter exclaimed. Aaron’s heart beat a little faster when he realized he was being accepted, and a little bit more when he realized the waiter was gay. He was cute, Aaron didn’t know if things could get any better. The waiter and Aaron talked more and laughed more. They told each other things they wouldn’t tell anyone during the day. It was 6 am when the sun was rising. Aaron found himself waking up from his seated position in the booth. He took it in, that he spent the last four hours with the waiter. He looked across from him and found the waiter sleeping on the booth’s chair. He stared at him for a while and smiled to himself. He looked around to see if the staff was watching. There was a waitress who was serving a couple and the kitchen staff.
“Oh shit I slept while I was on shift”
Aaron looked across and watched the waiter rub his eyes and rake his hands through his hair.
“I never got your name” Aaron suddenly pointed it out.
The waiter smirked.
“Why? Do you want to meet up more?” he asked with his raspy morning voice.
Aaron rolled his eyes. The waiter chuckled.
“It’s Kyle, what about you?”
They looked at each other. More intensely. Finally Aaron got up and decided to leave.
“You should go back to work Kyle”
Kyle nodded and said bye.
As Aaron got out and went to open his car all of a sudden he heard someone yell, “Wait”
Aaron looked back and saw Kyle. Before he could do anything Kyle came up to him and kissed him. Aaron widened his eyes. Kyle let go and slipped a piece of paper in the back of his pocket. Aaron kept staring wide-eyed. Nothing felt that good in a while.
Kyle smirked and put his hands on both sides of Aaron and leaned him on his car. He then whispered in Aaron’s ear and said, “I don’t work tonight, call me and let’s go on a date.”
Aaron nodded. Kyle kissed him again and even though anyone passing by could see what’s happening Aaron kissed him back.
“I got to go back to work, call me” Kyle yelled as he ran back to the diner. Aaron grinned and drove back home happily. Every time he stopped at a red light he felt his lips. He hadn’t felt that infinite in years.

Why Do You Keep Waiting For Me?

Thirty minutes is technically a long time. It’s 1800 seconds and 1800000 milliseconds. You can write an essay in thirty minutes. You can eat a box of cookies in thirty minutes. You can watch an episode of your favorite anime in thirty minutes. You can read the newspaper in thirty minutes. You can talk to a friend in thirty minutes. You can also do a whole workout session in thirty minutes. Yet you still waited for me in the library for thirty minutes (for the second time). Every time I try not to get myself to like you too much you make it so damn hard not to. I don’t regret walking to your house and making you come downstairs because you left before I came to the library. Because you spent thirty minutes waiting for me and that’s honestly amazing. I still don’t get how you’re not annoyed with me yet.

Its Just A Rant…Sorry.

“You can’t save the world”
“We’re too insignificant to help”
“What type of dream is that? Why don’t you become a doctor and just donate your money instead”
“It’s a waste of time”
All my life I always felt like I was nothing special. I had nothing to offer. My friends were all smart, artistic, or pretty. I was none of them. Or at least
I felt like I was none of them. But slowly I’ve been figuring out myself and I realized my need of helping others and my love of taking care of kids. I guess I can blame some of these attributes on my dad. Who always taught me that no matter what I should help other when they need it, because its the right thing to do. My dream is to go to developing countries and improve the orphanages there. And maybe build some good ones. My dream is to help little girls and boys to go school and become educated to help the world. My dream is to use all my energy to help the world as much as I can. Not because of the merit or the awards because honestly it’s hard getting awards for simply helping. But I want to do it because I want to live to help people, so they never feel helpless or alone, I want this world to be better. And yes I may be too insignificant to do that, but you know what its a passion to help people and I don’t care anymore. The message here is do what you want no matter what people say. As cheesy as it sounds you’ll find a dream and the only way to work towards is to tear down the walls you built that confines you and believe you can reach that dream.

In Sync

What do you do when you like someone so much, but they reject you to the point that it hurts? You move on. You guard your heart and promise yourself you won’t like anyone for a long time. But then after a while someone walks by and you can’t just not notice. You try to brush it off. Pfft they’re just a person. But somehow you’re drawn to this person. A while later you stop guarding your heart and fall for them. Of course when I fell for Xavier, somehow I kept liking him and I didn’t know why. Now I’m sitting in science class doing the work our teacher left us and I could feel Xavier kicking me in the back of my chair. I sighed and turned around.
“What?” I asked in irritation.
“Sophieeee, why are you doing work when we have a substitute it’s just a waste of time” Xavier told me.
“For the millionth time Xavier, it’s Sophia and I want to get this done so I can study the next lesson at home, why do you care anyways?” I questioned.
Xavier suddenly got up and leaned across his desk and plopped his head on my shoulder. I blushed and looked at him.
“I care because, you’re wasting all your time studying and none of your time to have fun..Live a little Sophie” he told me.
I sighed. Studying relaxed me, I was able to control it, there was always a definite answer.
“Well we’re still in school, are we not?” I pointed out.
Xavier sighed and buried his face more into my neck. I pushed his head away and he chuckled. I looked at him and scowled. He sat back down and went back to his seat. I looked back at him and rolled my eyes. I noticed his wavy black hair was messy and he was wearing a loose cardigan, that made him look tired…in a cute way. His tan skin made his grey eyes stand out. Xavier laid his head on his hand and stared back at me with a grin. His eyes were droopy which made me want to touch his hair. I sighed and looked back at my book. Xavier started playing with my hair. I didn’t know why he liked playing with my hair, it was light brown and straight. I guess I liked it that way, it kept order.
“Sophia, I can’t do this”
Xavier and I looked at Victoria. Victoria was a short and child-like girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. She and I met when the year started and she was failing miserably (still is) and she begged me to help her. Somehow we became close. I didn’t want to be friends with her at first, she took away my studying time. But I felt bad and helped her out. She ended up becoming the closest person to me. Other then Xavier.
“Why not?” Xavier asked while smirking. Victoria scowled and showed me the paper full of chemical equations, there were numbers everywhere, but none of them were right. I looked at Victoria and she looked like she was going to cry.
“This shit is so easy Victoria” Xavier said with a sigh. A lot of things pissed me off about Xavier, but the one thing that drove me crazy was the fact he didn’t need to study to be smart, he was just a genius. He didn’t cherish his gift like I would if I had it. He shrugged it off, he never felt the need to brag about his nineties that he didn’t have to try hard to get. After Xavier’s remark, Victoria teared up and crumpled up the paper. I glared at Xavier who looked guilty and sad that he hurt Victoria’s feelings. And then a small wrapped chocolate appeared on her desk. There was another reason why Xavier drove me crazy, he gave chocolates to anyone if they were sad. Even if he didn’t know them.

Lunch time was the time where I ate as fast as I could in the cafeteria and ran to spend the rest of lunch in the library. I sat with Victoria who was telling me about her blog and how she can’t wait for baseball game tomorrow, since her boyfriend was supposed to come and watch. Victoria’s boyfriend was in a different school. I was happy for them, they had met over the summer and have been in love ever since. All of a sudden, Victoria stopped talking and scowled. I turned to see why she was scowling. It turned out she was scowling at the group of snobby popular girls behind us. The main leader, Annie was strutting in the cafeteria holding hands with her boyfriend Haine. Annie had straight blonde hair and green eyes. She was wearing a pink floral dress with heels. Haine had the same clean brown hair and pale skin. They both looked like they came out of some highschool romantic movie. Everyone loved those two. The cheerleader with her quarterback boyfriend. After being in high school for two years, I looked like I didn’t deserve to even breathe the same air, but once upon a time I was Haine’s girlfriend and Annie’s best friend. Until I caught them sleeping with each other and broke up with both of them. And slowly I started focusing on studying and getting ready to leave high school as fast as I can. I lost all the popularity I had and dropped my position in the cheerleader squad. Strange isn’t it? What high school can do to you. And a year later, I was stuck with the wrath of Xavier and Victoria.
“I hate seeing those two,” Victoria groaned. I shrugged and focused on my tater tots.
All of a sudden the cafeteria was in an uproar and I looked back to see Haine holding Xavier by the collar of his t-shirt. Victoria and I walked closer to hear what was going on.
“Listen you twit, we had a deal” Haine yelled.
“I didn’t agree to the deal you shit.” Xavier spat back.
“So you’re going back on your promise?” Haine asked, gripping Xavier’s collar. Annie whispered something to Haine and they both looked at me. I took a step back.
“We made no promise, you asked me to get the answers and I told you I don’t have them” Xavier answered. It was comforting that even though Xavier was going to get beat up he still looked like he was winning the argument.
“Trying to look good in front of your girlfriend huh?”
Xavier smirked and kicked Haine in the stomach with his knee. While Haine bent down with a groan, Xavier kicked him to the floor. Although, Xavier was smart as hell, he didn’t know how to keep his temper. People looked at each other and some guys tried to hold Xavier back. Victoria and I ran to Xavier and before we could pull him away, Xavier yelled, “Well at least I don’t fuck her best friend and then have her change her whole life because the most important people to her screwed up. Don’t you fucking dare come near me or her or anyone again”. Victoria looked at Xavier admirably and I looked at Xavier and took a moment to realize they were talking about me. I blushed when all eyes were on me. And Xavier grabbed my hand.
“You can’t judge us, for what we did with Sophia, and anyways she chose to leave” Annie remarked. I raised my eyebrows. Annie always had a “good” reason and she always had the ability to blame other people. Even when I cried to her saying why she couldn’t have hooked up with someone else she told me, it wasn’t her fault he chose her over me. I never was able to stand up to her but I knew it was almost the end of the year and we had one more year a head of us.
“I’m much happier anyways without you guys,” I began while I looked at the whole group of cheerleaders and jocks. People around us were silent. They never expected me to talk.
“Oh with that prick and the dumbass blonde?” someone yelled.
“Funny how you guys pay attention to me, when I could careless about you guys” I admitted.
“Without you guys, my life is perfectly fine.” I said and walked out.

I went home after that and since it was Friday, I just skipped out on studying and went to bed. The next morning I cleaned the house. Somehow I found myself, sitting on the front steps of our porch looking at the evening sky. My single mom was at work and my brother was with my dad fishing. I found myself thinking about Xavier. The way we met was unusual. Xavier was known to beat people up, and somehow I became his lab partner in the beginning of last year. This was also when I was still a cheer leader and Annie’s best friend. He was quiet and sullen, but the first thing he did when we were doing the lab, he cracked a joke and I laughed. Slowly we became friends, and it was me that saved him from fights. Finally when everything was ruined and I pushed everyone away and disappeared during the summer, it was Xavier that broke those walls and would make me smile and forget about the world for at least a moment a day. I always got him out of trouble and he always respected my need to study. But somehow every time I looked up from, he was there smiling. He was always in high spirits. Then he started owning a weasel and sneaked him in class and I had to always save him when he got caught. But that weasel named Ralphie (to rhyme with Sophie) was like our momentum. Life without him would be hard. Before I knew it I was crying at how life was so exhausting.
I looked up and saw a breathless Xavier infront of me. He was wearing a hoodie and shorts. He brushed his hand along his messy hair and grinned. I looked and him and blushed.
“What are you doing here?”I asked.
“Because I’m worried..I gave you a day to cool down…I think that’s enough right?” He told me before he plopped himself beside me.
I sighed and nodded.
He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him. I widened my eyes and tried pulling away from him.
“What the hell are you doing?” I cried.
“What do you think I’m doing? I’m trying to be closer to you” he yelled back.
“Because I love you” he answered. I looked at him and stopped breathing. He looked at me and smirked and leaned back.
“Why are you telling me this now?” I questioned.
“Because I can’t help it anymore.” he admitted.
I looked at him cover his face with his hands. I gently pushed away his hand and caressed his face and he raised his eyebrows.
“You know you never changed? even though your life changed, you were always the same just a bit more proud of yourself each day. You studied like crazy all the time, you never cared what people said. The reason why I liked you was because you were one of the only people that didn’t look at me with fear or resentment. You didn’t leave me” Xavier whispered. I closed my eyes and whispered, “I love you too” back. I felt Xavier’s hand around my waist and he pushed me towards him. I felt his lips against mine. My heart beat fast but I kissed back. My arms went around his neck and Xavier kissed me harder. I knew that no matter how life changed, it goes on and you find better people to live with. We finally let go and Xavier twirled a piece of my hair around his finger.
“Vctoria is going to get crazy when we tell her about us” Xavier informed me. I laughed.
Xavier put his head on my shoulder and told me the story of how him and Haine got into a fight. Apparently Haine had thought Xavier got his answers by looking at previous tests of his brother’s, but little did Haine know, Xavier was just that smart and his brother never went to this school. I rolled my eyes. The night fell and I looked at Xavier and he looked at me and yelled to the world he loved me and just like every other time when he got in trouble, I took his hand and hid behind the tree in our front yard so my neighbour wouldn’t see who yelled. Xavier laughed and I kissed him to shut up, he held my waist and kissed me passionately.

The Beat

As a freshman, you end up falling for guys that are bound to break your heart. As we grow older, our perspective on love, changes. We tweak our expectations and guard our hearts. Some of us, focus on the lust while others depend on hopeless romantic love. It’s just how life goes. If someone hurts you a lot with hypothetical knives, you may feel like love is not worth it and would rather experience sex and breaking other people’s hearts then trust someone. Not saying that’s wrong. Now dancing can represent true love or lust. That’s what I love about it. The fact that you can move to the beat of the song and be able to go with the flow thrills me.
“Yo Kiera, wanna start from the top again?” he asked me.
I shook my head from my distractions and looked up at him. We were in one of the dance academy’s studios practicing our new competition routine and it was becoming difficult to get a good ending for the dance. I sighed and shrugged. He plopped down to sit beside me.
He smiled and took my hand.
“I’ll give you five minutes and then we have to go back to practising” informed Damien.
I nodded and he smiled at me. Then he leaned into me and I swore just like every other time all I could hear was my heart beat. He caresses my face and whispers, “we can do this, okay? we’ve been partners for two years now and we’ve been unbeatable since”. I didn’t have the strength to look up at him so I kept looking down at my fidgeting hands.
I finally looked up and I saw Damien looking at me back with a comforting smile. I nodded and smiled back.
“Yeah I guess we can” I replied.
Damien kept looking at me and I kept staring back at him. Finally I looked at our proximity and blushed thinking about how close we were. If I moved an inch closer we’d be kissing. But all of a sudden, Damien snapped back to our surroundings and quickly stood up. I looked up at him in confusion. I guess we were too close.
“Anyways, I’ll give you five minutes, we’ll practise once and then head off, I have to go to some party tonight.” notified Damien before he left the room to get a drink. I sighed and looked at my reflection in the mirrors that filled the studio. My wavy brown hair was tied back with only my bangs out, I was wearing glasses and a baggy t-shirt with sweats. It had been like this since Damien and I won the last competition a year ago. He would show me he cared but then he’d act like he didn’t. I always knew Damien never really was the type to have an actual relationship ever since his girlfriend Juliet cheated on him. He always just hooked up with girls. Which was why we were opposites. I was a hopeless romantic. While I watched animes about love, and read romantic novels, Damien would go out to parties and end up spending the night with some random pretty girl. I was his best friend and knew everything about him, and he was the same for me but what he never realized is that I had feelings for him. I always liked him but I never let them get in the way of our dancing, but nowadays it had been so hard not to. The door opened and I stood up to stretch. I looked back at him and he came in as if nothing happened five minutes ago. I still felt the lingering touch on my cheeks.
“Let’s get started” Damien said. I nodded and turned on the music before I went to him.
Though we were opposites, there was one thing we had the same view on. It was dancing. Somehow it was as if the only thing we had in our minds was the beat and the way we moved with each other. It was as if it was only us in the world. Not in a romantic way either, it was just the actual feeling of it. His hand was on my waist and I shook my hips and somehow he dipped me and we were going for a faster beat with the song. The song ended and I was back on my feet. I let go of Damien and went to get ready to leave.
“So the party, you’re going to go to where is it?” I asked, to make conversation.
“Why? Do you want to go?” joked Damien as he put his backpack. He leaned back on the wall and put his hands in his pockets. I observed his black hair, that was messily on his head and his pale skin making his hair look darker. He was wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. I blushed.
“You don’t think I can handle a party?” I asked as I opened to leave. Damien held it before I could leave and I kept walking. We both started walking together to the parking lot. He was going to drive me home. I mean we’re both seniors but I can’t afford a car.
Damien chuckled.
“Not really Keira, you’d be better off reading your lame stories” answered Damien. I felt irritated.
“They’re not lame”
“Love is stupid” Damien finally said. I bit my tongue to keep my anger down.
“Just because you got hurt once doesn’t fucking mean you can just all of a sudden vow that love is stupid, Damien you know about Mike but do you really think I can handle hooking up with random guys and breaking their hearts even after that? I know you regret it every time you have sex with a girl that you don’t love but the thing is you keep doing it. I hate people like you. I hate you so much” I cried. Before I could think about it I ran out of the parking lot. I felt tears streaming down, and I could hear Damien try to catch up to me, but since I took a head start he couldn’t.

It had been a week since it happened. We didn’t talk much, we just practised and figured out the ending. After every practise I took the bus and he drove back home. People at school asked us what happened but both of us had the same answer. “it’s not like we were dating”. I wished we were. I wished I was back in the good old days when Damien and I were just simple. I had started dancing to all kinds of music since the age of five and Damien started since the age of eight. But even though we knew each other at school, it never occurred to us to be partners until we ended up being in the same dance class. The teacher paired us up together since my weaknesses were his strengths and vice versa. I remembered, I hated the fact she paired us up together. At the time, he was dating Juliet and I has just broken up with my first boyfriend Mike. Mike was older then me by a year and wanted to sleep with me, which I declined to do and we had broken up soon after the incident of where we were making out and I stopped before he could take off his pants. At the time when Damien and I were paired up, I thought Damien was an asshole who took dancing as a joke, and he thought I was a stuck up bitch that thought she was good at dancing when she wasn’t (we didn’t even see each other dance). But we forgot about all that once we started dancing together, it was as if something bounded us together and we were really good at noticing each other’s feeling towards the music. We started becoming good friends, Damien found out about Mike and then six months after the teacher put us in this state competition, the day before Damien found out that Juliet was cheating on him with his best friend. I found him drunk and passed out in his home and I had to get his shit together before the competition, we won and since then, he changed his ways to being a dick. I fell for him even harder. We kept winning contests and doing other presentations, a year after we met there was this one competition that changed the way Damien and I treated each other. We almost kissed. Since then, things changed and I’ve been getting more confused then ever. But seeing how I messed up, I think I lost my chance.
It was finally the day where we had to dance in the finals. This was where scouts from big universities watched performances and picked the best people to give dance scholarships to.
We were up next. I looked at Damien who was looking at the performance before us.
“They’re good” he told me. I nodded and sighed.
“Keira, talk to me”
I looked at him again he tilted his head.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you need to know something before anything happens” he began. I raised my eyebrows. I leaned in close to him. I had to be careful that my dress didn’t ride up my legs. It was a light blue dress that went above my knees. It was supposed to give me a “cute” effect..something our instructor told us.
He looked at me and sighed.
“I like you”. My breathing stopped and all I could do was process those words. I was silent and I kept staring at him.
Suddenly we were called up to perform and both of us went up. The music started and I had to look at Damien, his eyes were intense and he kept looking at me. After forever the song came to an end but instead of him doing the finish we had decided, I switched our moves, so I ended up leaning into him and his arm was around my waist. His face was near my neck and I could feel his breaths. As the curtains closed I looked at him and whispered, “I like you too”. Damien widened his eyes and then he smirked. Finally, we kissed. His arms never left my waist and my hands caressed his face. Then we were shooed away because the next performance had to start. As we were sitting backstage, I looked at him.
“How? and when?”
Damien chuckled and smirked.
“Since that competition we almost kissed in” he admitted.
“But you still hooked up with like ten girls” I told him.
“Where’d you hear that from?” He asked me.
“Well I thought you did since…you went to all those parties” I said.
He chuckled even more.
“Just because I went to parties, doesn’t mean it was for sex. After I realized I liked you I never really was interested in all that. To be honest with you, every time we were close I knew I was this close to messing it up, which was why I would always stop anything before it happened” he replied.
I smiled sheepishly, and blushed at the fact that he sort of stayed faithful.
Before I could say anything, he kissed me and I wanted him to hold me just like the way he was.
“Let’s always dance together Kiera”

What If I Fall For Her

“Dad I don’t need a girlfriend to be happy”
“Oh come on honey, you’ve been so depressing these days”
Alisha set the plates on the table and glared at her father.
“I’m not depressing” exclaimed Alisha.
Her father chuckled.
“I meant these days. As in your depression is temporary.” clarified her father.
Alisha looked at her father. He was an aging man but with a young heart. He had slick black hair and a never-ending smile. Alisha  also had straight jet black hair. At the age of 16 she finally came out to her dad and he accepted her right after a second.
“As long as you’re able to have love in your life, I’m fine sweetheart.” her dad had said that  when she came out.
Two years later her father had started nagging her to get a girlfriend or anything that would make her genuinely happy.
“Look dad, if you don’t be quiet and eat dinner I’ll tell Jack that dinner is cancelled tomorrow” Alisha threatened.
Alisha’s dad surrendered and sat at his usual spot to eat. Alisha’s dad was an English professor and they lived in a small apartment fit for the two. Her older brother Jack lived in residence for his university. He came every Friday to have dinner with them. Both Alisha and her dad looked forward to Fridays.
“You’re just like your mother” stated Alisha’s father as they were eating Alisha’s homemade lasagna.
Alisha smiled. She knew other than her hair, everything else was passed down by her mom. Like her attitude, her height It was something to be happy about whenever times were tough and she remembered her mother’s death.
“Except your mother was a hopeless romantic”
Alisha sighed and glared at her father once more.
“Dad” she groaned.
“Fine fine. I’ll stop for now.”
Alisha grinned. For the rest of the dinner they talked about the day and what she planned to do with her life, since her graduation was getting close. Alisha knew one day, maybe she’ll find someone but for now she liked spending her dinners in her comfort.

“So your brother is bringing a girl over” Alisha’s father told Alisha.
Alisha looked up from her cooking and raised her eyebrows.
“I thought Jack’s girlfriend went to Paris for the month” inquired Alisha.
It was Friday evening and Alisha was cooking up dinner for the family, she always had extra left over so she didn’t worry about making more.
Alisha’s father shrugged and went to the dining table to set it up with the “good” plates. The plates they used when guests came over.
The doorbell rang and Alisha heard her father getting it. She could hear her brother and her dad greet as if they haven’t seen each other for thirty years. Alisha set the food on the table and went to the living room to hug her brother.
“Alisha” yelled her brother when she came in.
Alisha smiled and hugged him. She looked around and saw a girl sitting beside him. She had shoulder length curly red hair and green eyes. She was short and Alisha thought she was adorable. It was a wonder that she was as old as her brother whom was 3 years older. Alisha blushed and waved to her.
“Oh Alisha meet Juliya” introduced Jack.
Juliya looked up and smiled. Alisha shook hands with her. Juliya gripped tight and shook it well.
As the evening approached and after learning more about Juliya they went to eat dinner. Juliya and Jack had met last semester where they both had the same opinion on abortion and had to write an article on it for the class. Soon they became partners in crime and really good friends. She was also good friends with Jack’s girlfriend. She loved singing and writing.
“So Alisha, what are you interested in next year since you’re graduating” asked Juliya. Alisha looked at Juliya and envied the way she talked so confidently and full of spirit. She knew her boyfriend was a lucky guy. But she couldn’t help but feel attracted to her.
“Umm well I think I’m going into science or something” answered Alisha quietly. Juliya looked at her longer and then nodded.
“That’s a lot of studying” stated Juliya, pushing her hair to the side.
“Well thats what I need to do, study, get a job and I’ll be successful” replied Alisha as she took the bite of her lasagna.
Jack and his father snickered. Juliya raised her eyebrows.
“Well Mr. Ross you sure raised a great daughter. Wow” joked Juliya.
“What’s so funny about being serious about your future?” challenged Alisha.
“My dorky sister strikes yet again” said Jack. Alisha sighed and rolled her eyes and then smiled.
Juliya smirked.
“Well there’s more to life then that Alisha, you have to look at the amount of fun you’re having too” suggested Juliya.
“I’m not the type to go out and have fun I guess,” Alisha explained.
“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” questioned Juliya as she munched on her salad. Alisha was surprised at how straightforward she was. something else she was good at.
Alisha sighed and Jack choked on his water. Their father looked amused.
“Well Alisha plays in the same team as you” informed Jack with a smirk.
Juliya and Alisha looked at each other. Alisha looked away quickly and kept her focus on her plate.
“What do you mean same team?” tested Juliya.
Alisha and her father looked at Jack for his reaction.
“Well I mean you guys have the same interests” muttered Jack.
Alisha’s father chuckled.
“Interest? I think it’s called orientation. You can’t choose to be homosexual Jack” said Alisha’s father.
Juliya nodded.
“Okay fine, both you and Alisha are homosexual” disclosed Jack.
Alisha and Juliya smiled triumphantly and looked at each other. As the dinner was eaten, Alisha learned more about Juliya. Her laugh was beautiful. She was outgoing. Something about her made Alisha feel comfortable yet uneasy.
Soon it was time for Jack and Juliya to leave. While everyone was on the front porch, Alisha observed Juliya. By looking at her Alisha realized she was carefree and loved life’s chaos.
“Well I’ll go warm up the car. It was so nice meeting with you guys, I’ll try my best to come next time. And Alisha you are one interesting person, I hope I get your number soon”
Juliya hugged Alisha’s father and then Alisha. Alisha wished the hug lasted longer but it didn’t.
As Juliya left for the car, Jack looked at Alisha and smirked. It took Alisha a moment to figure out why.
“You did this on purpose. You and dad planned this” huffed Alisha.
Jack and their dad shared a look.
Alisha shook her head and sighed.
“We actually didn’t plan it. Juliya wanted to come cause she had nothing else to do.” asserted Jack.
Alisha’s father laughed and said, “well you and Alisha should have a talk. I’m going to go back inside. I’ll see you later bud” and with that he went inside. Alisha looked accusingly at Jack and punched his arm playfully. Jack laughed.
“You never know maybe you’ll fall for her” claimed Jack.
“Just because she’s lesbian doesn’t mean I’ll fall for her. I have many homosexual friends and I don’t see myself falling for them” argued Alisha.
Jack ruffled her hair.
“Things happen unexpectedly Alisha”

No matter how much she planned her life, today she realized it didn’t matter. Alisha looked at herself one last time in front of the full size mirror. Her black hair was pinned up in a loose bun, whilst loose curls were coming out of it. Her white wedding dress was tight at her chest and flowed loosely after hugging her waist with a bow. She looked around and her best friend was staring at her in awe.
“You look amazing Lish’, she’s one lucky girl” complimented Hazel.
Hazel was her friend since the freshman year of high school. They were inseparable since. They both went to the same universities and got their bachelors at the same time. It was a surprise they weren’t getting married on the same day. Alisha smiled and did one last twirl.
“I’m so nervous. God who knew I’d end up getting married to her?” asked Alisha.
Hazel rolled hery eyes.
“We all did.”
They both laughed. The door opened and it was Jack. His black hair was combed for the first time and he was wearing a tuxedo.
“Yo. You have two minutes to come to the alter”
“Yes I’m coming” said Alisha.
Jack smiled and put his hand around Alisha’s shoulders.
“Don’t ruin the veil Jack” scolded Hazel, whom was on the other side of Alisha.
Jack chuckled and Hazel stuck her tongue out at him.
“Okay children, stop it” commented Alisha.
Jack and Hazel rolled their eyes at each other and then looked at Alisha.
“Can’t believe my little sister is getting married, I mean you were so against falling in love and now look at you.” Jack told Alisha.
They both looked at each other and smiled.
“Let’s go before we end up being late at your wedding” cried Hazel as she pulled Alisha away to get out of the room.
Alisha met with her father before the alter, who was still tying his tie.
“Dad, seriously?”
Her dad looked up and sighed glumly. Alisha laughed and quickly tied his tie.
“What am I going to do without you?” asked her father as he put his arm around hers.
“Well I offered to stay but you were so set on making me fall in love”
Her father looked up and grinned.
They walked into the room. Alisha felt the world pause for a moment. She looked at the person she was going to marry, across the room.
Her red hair was straightened and was let down. Her dress was a short white dress and was flowing until her knees. She was beautiful. Alisha looked at Juliya as if it was her first time. After a lot of pushing away Juliya finally broke down the walls of Alisha and showed her love. She filled every corner of Alisha’s life with care and love. They went through dark times and good times together. When Alisha kissed Juliya, she always felt she was the luckiest person in the world. Juliya’s care free attitude intimidated Alisha and Alisha’s perfection habits scared Juliya but somehow their flaws made them love each other even more.
Alisha looked at the guests, they were looking at Alisha with awe. Alisha made sure all of the guests that were here today accepted their relationship. She didn’t want this wedding to have any hate in it. Alisha’s father tugged at Alisha’s arm and they took the first step.
“So how come she took on the groom’s role” asked her father.
“We flipped a coin”
“Well I guess the luck went into my favour, I’ve always wanted to walk you down the aisle” said her father.
Finally Alisha was in front of Juliya. They both looked at each other and Alisha’s father let her go and went to his seat.
“You look amazing” Juliya whispered.
“You look beautiful” Alisha replied.
As they said their vows and their ‘I do’s’ the priest told them to kiss.
“You may kiss each other”
Alisha made sure he changed the word ‘bride’ with ‘each other’ because they were both brides.
Juliya pulled Alisha for a kiss before Alisha was prepared. They let go slowly.
“God I was wanting to do this to you all day” whispered Juliya impatiently.
Alisha smiled sheepishly.
“Can’t wait to sleep with you tonight”
Juliya said it so quietly that only Alisha heard. Which is why when she blushed uncontrollably beside the smirking Juliya, people wondered why.
Alisha looked at Juliya all day and knew it will always be her and Juliya living in their world, and she loved it that way.